Abigail, Nabal, and David: Did you know that God wrote a "happily ever after" fairy tale long before Disney? The story can be found in 2 Samuel 25:2-42 but here's my paraphrase:
David was hiding from Saul. David had been chosen by God, to be King, but it was not yet time for him to rule. However, just knowing David had been chosen, Saul was jealous and was seeking to harm David. So David and his men were hiding in the wilderness and in the valley, below where they were hiding, there were shepards and herdsmen who worked for a man by the name of Nabal. According to the scripture, Nabal means fool and, if you read the story, you'll see that he lives up to his name.
Now, while David and his men are hiding from Saul, they have also been providing protection for Nabal's men and livestock. One day, the men are hungry so David sends to Nabal asking for provisions. Basically Nabal tells David and his men to take a flying leap which, of course, doesn't go over too well with David.
When David hears about Nabal's reply, he is so angry he vows to kill every male on the property (and we're not just talking men... We're talking livestock as well). When Abigail, Nabal's wife hears about what happened and that David and his men are on their way, she goes into her pantry and prepares a feast. She takes all that she prepared and meets David's entourage, falling on her face, and apologizes for her husband's behavior. David accepts Abigail's gifts and calls off the attack.
Abigail returns home to find Nabal partying and he is very drunk so she doesn't say anything until morning. In the morning, when Abigail tells Nabal what she had done, he has a stroke and the scripture says, "Ten days later, God struck Nabal and he died."
When David hears that Nabal has died, he sends messengers to Abigail saying that he wants her to be his wife.
There are several things to be learned from this story but one of the things that was pointed out in a Bible study that I attended was, Abigail was prepared. I mean, really... how many of us would be able to reach into our pantry and prepare enough food for an entourage of soldiers? And, she was wise... she thought of a plan and executed the plan.
I guess what I'm saying is women of the Bible are strong. Some seem to think that women were insignificant in the Bible but they were worker bees. The woman of Proverbs 31 bought and sold property and kept her lamp burning at night while she wove her own cloth and sewed rich clothing for her family.
So, be encouraged today. You are a princess... a child of the King. You are beautiful, strong, and intelligent. Use the resources God has given you to be the best wife you can be even if you don't feel your husband deserves it because that is what God requires of us. And pray, pray, pray... pray without ceasing and never quit preparing your heart for the adventures God has in store. Make your life a life of praise and worship and remember, "my joy comes from the Lord."
"Grace is deceitful, and beauty is vain; but a woman that feareth the Lord, she shall be praised." Prov. 31:30.
Tuesday, March 20, 2012
Monday, March 19, 2012
Letting Go and Letting God
Letting go and letting God: When I started this project (putting my "marriage lessons" in order), I started by outlining my thoughts. Tonight, I looked at this last thought (at least for now) and it's so poignant, because right this very minute, I'm so angry at my husband for throwing away a broken "treasure" that has taken up space in our basement for the past 12 years. That's right... 12 years.
So, since I know when to choose my battles and both of us have already made our point, I didn't want to say any more on the subject so I decided to read. Lately, I've been reading "7 An Experimental Mutiny Against Excess" by Jen Hatmaker. It's a book that my husband already went through and wanted me to read (a very good book by the way).
Anyway, I'm currently in the middle of month 3 (sorry, you'll have to read the book to find out what that means) and Jen drew a mental picture of the church people sitting around their living room, talking about the love of Jesus, while the world is burning down outside and the destitute are asking for the basic necessities of life with their noses pressed up against the window watching us drink our coffee.
Reading that made me realize I have nothing to be angry about (ok... I still don't think it needed the trashcan, but that's beside the point). The point is, I have a roof over my head, food in my belly, a warm bed to sleep in, enough clothes I could wear something fresh every day for two weeks without doing laundry, and enough money in the bank that I wouldn't have to worry if the car broke down and here I am fuming over a trivial item that is only valuable for sentimental reasons.
So, you can see why this outlined topic is so poignant... I had meant to talk about letting go of things we cannot change and God was planning to show me another lesson on just plain "letting go".
Alright... So, I can't stay mad at him with God on his side... Besides, that would just negate the stuff I've already talked about when I talked about bitterness and not holding a grudge. See, I'm not perfect... I don't know it all, and God is still teaching me new lessons.
Ok... Here is the lesson I had intended to share... When we pray for our husband (or anything for that matter), we need to let go of the situation and our feelings about the matter and let God do His thing. We need to remember that He works all things together for our good. Remember that He has a plan for our lives and it's not a plan to harm us. We just need to trust Him and His timing and never give up praying.
So, since I know when to choose my battles and both of us have already made our point, I didn't want to say any more on the subject so I decided to read. Lately, I've been reading "7 An Experimental Mutiny Against Excess" by Jen Hatmaker. It's a book that my husband already went through and wanted me to read (a very good book by the way).
Anyway, I'm currently in the middle of month 3 (sorry, you'll have to read the book to find out what that means) and Jen drew a mental picture of the church people sitting around their living room, talking about the love of Jesus, while the world is burning down outside and the destitute are asking for the basic necessities of life with their noses pressed up against the window watching us drink our coffee.
Reading that made me realize I have nothing to be angry about (ok... I still don't think it needed the trashcan, but that's beside the point). The point is, I have a roof over my head, food in my belly, a warm bed to sleep in, enough clothes I could wear something fresh every day for two weeks without doing laundry, and enough money in the bank that I wouldn't have to worry if the car broke down and here I am fuming over a trivial item that is only valuable for sentimental reasons.
So, you can see why this outlined topic is so poignant... I had meant to talk about letting go of things we cannot change and God was planning to show me another lesson on just plain "letting go".
Alright... So, I can't stay mad at him with God on his side... Besides, that would just negate the stuff I've already talked about when I talked about bitterness and not holding a grudge. See, I'm not perfect... I don't know it all, and God is still teaching me new lessons.
Ok... Here is the lesson I had intended to share... When we pray for our husband (or anything for that matter), we need to let go of the situation and our feelings about the matter and let God do His thing. We need to remember that He works all things together for our good. Remember that He has a plan for our lives and it's not a plan to harm us. We just need to trust Him and His timing and never give up praying.
Saturday, March 17, 2012
Child of the King
Being a princess: You are a child of the King of kings! Would a princess wallow in the mire? Would a princess run around in rags all day without make-up? No... most of the time, when you see or think of a princess, she's always picture perfect.
In both Matthew and Mark, Jesus is recorded as saying, "love thy neighbor as thyself." Have you ever noticed, or paid attention to the "as thyself" portion of that scripture? The reason for this is that it's very hard to love anyone if we don't love ourselves.
Recently my husband has been obsessed with the fact that insomnia often takes me from my "beauty sleep" at night. He keeps reminding me that my body needs 7-8 hours of sleep (even though it apparently doesn't think so). But I know he's not doing this because of any outward appearances, he's doing this because he cares about me and wants me to be healthy. If we love ourselves, we will do what we can to be as healthy as we can.
I heard a secret about fortune-telling once (now don't worry... I don't believe in fortune tellers)... the secret is, they look at the hands because if a person takes good care of their hands, they must "love themselves". And this isn't talking about an unnatural love, it's just talking about, again, being healthy, feeling good, and looking your best.
Here are a few benefits of taking care of yourself:
1. You'll feel better physically and emotionally.
2. You'll be around to enjoy your husband and family longer.
3. You'll have more energy to be able to keep up with your family.
4. You'll be someone that others want to be around
Now let me clarify that last one... I'm NOT saying that if you are sick or have a disability that people will not want to be around you.... No, I'm saying that if you are doing everything you can to take care of yourself, and be in the best health you can be, people will want to be around you. After all, if you give up on yourself, others will too.
And, we should take care of our spiritual health and beauty as well. As a child of the King, we represent Him wherever we go. Are you representing your Father and yourself in a good light?
In both Matthew and Mark, Jesus is recorded as saying, "love thy neighbor as thyself." Have you ever noticed, or paid attention to the "as thyself" portion of that scripture? The reason for this is that it's very hard to love anyone if we don't love ourselves.
Recently my husband has been obsessed with the fact that insomnia often takes me from my "beauty sleep" at night. He keeps reminding me that my body needs 7-8 hours of sleep (even though it apparently doesn't think so). But I know he's not doing this because of any outward appearances, he's doing this because he cares about me and wants me to be healthy. If we love ourselves, we will do what we can to be as healthy as we can.
I heard a secret about fortune-telling once (now don't worry... I don't believe in fortune tellers)... the secret is, they look at the hands because if a person takes good care of their hands, they must "love themselves". And this isn't talking about an unnatural love, it's just talking about, again, being healthy, feeling good, and looking your best.
Here are a few benefits of taking care of yourself:
1. You'll feel better physically and emotionally.
2. You'll be around to enjoy your husband and family longer.
3. You'll have more energy to be able to keep up with your family.
4. You'll be someone that others want to be around
Now let me clarify that last one... I'm NOT saying that if you are sick or have a disability that people will not want to be around you.... No, I'm saying that if you are doing everything you can to take care of yourself, and be in the best health you can be, people will want to be around you. After all, if you give up on yourself, others will too.
And, we should take care of our spiritual health and beauty as well. As a child of the King, we represent Him wherever we go. Are you representing your Father and yourself in a good light?
Sunday, March 11, 2012
Are You Under the Umbrella?
The umbrella affect: The Bible tells us that "the husband is the head of the wife, as Christ is the head of the church" - Ephesians 5:23.
I've heard it described as an umbrella... The husband is the umbrella and the wife and children are underneath that umbrella. So, it is the umbrella's job to protect. It is his responsibility to lead his home spiritually and can you imagine the great responsibility this entails? He will someday stand before God and give an account for, not only himself, but the direction of his family... just as a captain takes responsibility for the direction of his ship.
If, at this time, your husband is not taking this responsibility, of course, you don't want your children to suffer the consequences. So, it then becomes your responsibility, as second in command, to hold the umbrella. While taking on this tough roll, continue to pray that some day your husband's eyes and heart will be open to the joy he is missing.
And, when your husband's spirit comes to life and he realizes that he needs to be in charge of the spiritual upbringing and spiritual protection of his family, you need to hand over the reins and get back underneath his umbrella. That may be a hard thing to do but, if you've been steering the ship for a while, he will still need your loving hand to guide him. So, don't feel like you have been pushed aside, rather, with a sigh of relief, hand over that responsibility.
We see this type of guidance and trust... spiritual responsibility if you will, in Genesis 12. In vs 13, Abraham and Sarah (actually Abram and Sarai in these early passages) are traveling to Egypt and Abraham tells Sarah, "tell them you are my sister". So, basically, she has been told, by her husband, to lie to the Pharoah and princes of Egypt. Sarah does as her husband has told her and God protects her because she has been obedient. Now, I'm not, in any way, shape, or form, saying that we are not accountable for our own actions, but what Sarah did was to fall under the authority of her husband. Or, in plain english, she was submissive to her husband.
If you haven't heard it from me before, I'll say it again... submission is NOT a bad word. Submission is willfully giving in to the authority of another. So, it doesn't say, in this passage from Genesis, what Sarah was thinking... she very well may have struggled with the fact that her husband was asking her to lie but she did what she was asked to do out of obedience or submission to her husband. And, as I said, God protected her because of it.
We need to have this same type of trust in our husband as the leader of our home. It is our responsibility to allow him to lead by submitting to his authority and prayerfully following his lead. Please don't miss that word, "prayerfully" because you, of course, don't want to take this to the extreme and think that you are untouchable because you are "just doing what you are told."... no, we are to have discernment and we are still asked to give advise, but the ultimate decisions should be left to our husbands.
I've heard it described as an umbrella... The husband is the umbrella and the wife and children are underneath that umbrella. So, it is the umbrella's job to protect. It is his responsibility to lead his home spiritually and can you imagine the great responsibility this entails? He will someday stand before God and give an account for, not only himself, but the direction of his family... just as a captain takes responsibility for the direction of his ship.
If, at this time, your husband is not taking this responsibility, of course, you don't want your children to suffer the consequences. So, it then becomes your responsibility, as second in command, to hold the umbrella. While taking on this tough roll, continue to pray that some day your husband's eyes and heart will be open to the joy he is missing.
And, when your husband's spirit comes to life and he realizes that he needs to be in charge of the spiritual upbringing and spiritual protection of his family, you need to hand over the reins and get back underneath his umbrella. That may be a hard thing to do but, if you've been steering the ship for a while, he will still need your loving hand to guide him. So, don't feel like you have been pushed aside, rather, with a sigh of relief, hand over that responsibility.
We see this type of guidance and trust... spiritual responsibility if you will, in Genesis 12. In vs 13, Abraham and Sarah (actually Abram and Sarai in these early passages) are traveling to Egypt and Abraham tells Sarah, "tell them you are my sister". So, basically, she has been told, by her husband, to lie to the Pharoah and princes of Egypt. Sarah does as her husband has told her and God protects her because she has been obedient. Now, I'm not, in any way, shape, or form, saying that we are not accountable for our own actions, but what Sarah did was to fall under the authority of her husband. Or, in plain english, she was submissive to her husband.
If you haven't heard it from me before, I'll say it again... submission is NOT a bad word. Submission is willfully giving in to the authority of another. So, it doesn't say, in this passage from Genesis, what Sarah was thinking... she very well may have struggled with the fact that her husband was asking her to lie but she did what she was asked to do out of obedience or submission to her husband. And, as I said, God protected her because of it.
We need to have this same type of trust in our husband as the leader of our home. It is our responsibility to allow him to lead by submitting to his authority and prayerfully following his lead. Please don't miss that word, "prayerfully" because you, of course, don't want to take this to the extreme and think that you are untouchable because you are "just doing what you are told."... no, we are to have discernment and we are still asked to give advise, but the ultimate decisions should be left to our husbands.
Saturday, March 10, 2012
Praise - it goes a long way
Praise is like salt: Salt is a preservative, it adds flavor, assists in healing, and also helps in the leavening process while baking. Praise is like salt for our relationships... both vertical (with our God) and horizontal (with other human beings).
There is a song that I love that says, "Praise the Lord, He can work through those who praise Him. Praise the Lord, for our God inhabits praise. Praise the Lord! For the chains that seem to bind you, serve only to remind you, that they drop powerless behind you when you praise Him."
This is so true. Praising God preserves our soul and lifts our spirit. Praising those around us lifts them up as well. And, face it, when we feel good about ourselves, we treat everyone around us a little better and we have more reason to strive to do more praise worthy deeds.
There have been many conferences, sermons, and relationship advice books where I've heard or read that men need a little more praise for some reason. It's like food for their ego. And it's true, some times, when our husbands do everyday tasks, they still seem to want to hear that they did a good job. So, don't forget about praise when it comes to your marriage... lift up the spirit of your husband by recognizing the extra things he's been doing around the house.
Tell him how much you appreciate the things he does for you as well as the qualities God has gifted to him. I challenge you to find at least one positive thing to praise him each day for the next week and see if it doesn't make for a better mood around the house as well as renew or change your attitude toward your husband.
There is a song that I love that says, "Praise the Lord, He can work through those who praise Him. Praise the Lord, for our God inhabits praise. Praise the Lord! For the chains that seem to bind you, serve only to remind you, that they drop powerless behind you when you praise Him."
This is so true. Praising God preserves our soul and lifts our spirit. Praising those around us lifts them up as well. And, face it, when we feel good about ourselves, we treat everyone around us a little better and we have more reason to strive to do more praise worthy deeds.
There have been many conferences, sermons, and relationship advice books where I've heard or read that men need a little more praise for some reason. It's like food for their ego. And it's true, some times, when our husbands do everyday tasks, they still seem to want to hear that they did a good job. So, don't forget about praise when it comes to your marriage... lift up the spirit of your husband by recognizing the extra things he's been doing around the house.
Tell him how much you appreciate the things he does for you as well as the qualities God has gifted to him. I challenge you to find at least one positive thing to praise him each day for the next week and see if it doesn't make for a better mood around the house as well as renew or change your attitude toward your husband.
Thursday, March 8, 2012
When Upon Life's Billows You are Tempest Tossed
Dealing with bitterness: Speaking of little eyes, one thing they can catch the easiest is bitterness. I went to a women's conference once and all weekend the speaker had us carry a marble around. At each main session we were to hold it up so she knew we still had it with us. At the end of the weekend, she said that the marble represented whatever was in our life that was coming between us and God. In my case, at the time, it was bitterness. A bitterness so deep it was crushing my soul. I had fallen into a deep depression and thought the only way out was to kill myself because I must be a horrible person.
Let me say right now, that thought is WRONG... it comes from Satan! You are not a horrible person. You are loved and very precious in the eyes of God. He wants to give you joy and peace, you just need to let Him in.
So, back to the conference... the speaker said that we could continue to carry that marble... we could put it in our purse and forget about it but one day, our purse will tip over and that marble will come rolling out. She said, "think about how you'll feel when you're at the store and that marble comes rolling out on the conveyer belt... right in front of the cashier and other bystanders. Worse yet, think about how you would feel if that marble rolled out of your purse and your child picked it up."
And it hit me... like a light going on in the darkest part of my heart... my kids can pick up my bitterness and become bitter themselves. Did I want that? Did I want to be the cause for my children becoming unloving individuals? Little people who hated their father or carried grudges toward other people? That was an emphatic NO! I gave that marble over to the Lord and I started praying every day (sometimes every minute) that God would root out the bitterness in my soul.
I' m so glad to say that the bitterness is gone. Sure, Satan tries to bring it back from time to time but remember... "Love does not keep account of wrong". So, when those times come, I say, "get thee behind me Satan" and I pray for forgiveness for allowing that root of bitterness to sprout once again
Let me say right now, that thought is WRONG... it comes from Satan! You are not a horrible person. You are loved and very precious in the eyes of God. He wants to give you joy and peace, you just need to let Him in.
So, back to the conference... the speaker said that we could continue to carry that marble... we could put it in our purse and forget about it but one day, our purse will tip over and that marble will come rolling out. She said, "think about how you'll feel when you're at the store and that marble comes rolling out on the conveyer belt... right in front of the cashier and other bystanders. Worse yet, think about how you would feel if that marble rolled out of your purse and your child picked it up."
And it hit me... like a light going on in the darkest part of my heart... my kids can pick up my bitterness and become bitter themselves. Did I want that? Did I want to be the cause for my children becoming unloving individuals? Little people who hated their father or carried grudges toward other people? That was an emphatic NO! I gave that marble over to the Lord and I started praying every day (sometimes every minute) that God would root out the bitterness in my soul.
I' m so glad to say that the bitterness is gone. Sure, Satan tries to bring it back from time to time but remember... "Love does not keep account of wrong". So, when those times come, I say, "get thee behind me Satan" and I pray for forgiveness for allowing that root of bitterness to sprout once again
Wednesday, March 7, 2012
Covenant Relationship
Marriage is a covenant: When you got married, you vowed, before friends, loved ones, and God, that you would love and cherish this person until one of you should die. And, no, you should not be praying for that someone to die... that's just wrong. Take time to renew that commitment to yourself from time to time. My husband and I took a "marriage covenant" class at one point in time and one of the things I remember from this Biblically based study is that your spouse is a gift from God.
Think about it... how many lonely people are out there in the world? God gave you this person to cherish... when you receive a precious gift from your children, do you tear it apart or throw it on the ground and trample it? No, you cherish that gift... you display it for all to see. Treat your husband the same way. Think of the good qualities, those things that he does (or perhaps he used to do) that just make you smile and tell your friends aboout those things. Shine a light on the beautiful aspects of your man and shove the not so lovely under the rug.
My joy comes from the Lord: It is NOT my husband's responsibility to make me happy. It is great when that happens but I shouldn't walk through life waiting for or expecting it to happen. No, my joy... my peace... my overwhelming happiness comes from the Lord. Keep your relationship with God foremost in your life.
In the previously mentioned covenant marriage class, the other memorable thing that came out of it is the pyramid affect... the analogy of your marriage being a three sided pyramid. Think of a pyramid... God is at the top and you and your spouse are at opposite anchor points. The closer each of you get to God, the closer you draw to each other.
Again, you can only do your part. You can't force your husband to read his Bible or pray. You can't even force him to go to church (ok, you may try but he's going to resent you and push away from God). Lead by example... Keep your relationship with your God fresh... let the joy of the Lord shine through you and pray, pray, pray. Only God can reach through to your husband and He may or may not choose to use you to do the reaching. In fact, God will most likely use someone else.
I used to get frustrated because I could say something to my husband a thousand times but let one of his friends say the same thing and all of a sudden, it's the greatest idea or thought he's ever heard. Don't get upset... just be thankful the thought made it through and move on.
Don't neglect your time with God because you need that Word in your life every day. Not only that, you may have little eyes watching you... they watch how you respond and they see how important your God is to you. Make sure to involve those little ones... take them to church with you, take them to VBS, say bedtime prayers with them and read them Bible stories. When you go on field trips, remind them that God made the beautiful sunset, the delicate butterfly, and the magestic elephant. Be sure that they are being nurtured in God's love as well as your own.
Think about it... how many lonely people are out there in the world? God gave you this person to cherish... when you receive a precious gift from your children, do you tear it apart or throw it on the ground and trample it? No, you cherish that gift... you display it for all to see. Treat your husband the same way. Think of the good qualities, those things that he does (or perhaps he used to do) that just make you smile and tell your friends aboout those things. Shine a light on the beautiful aspects of your man and shove the not so lovely under the rug.
My joy comes from the Lord: It is NOT my husband's responsibility to make me happy. It is great when that happens but I shouldn't walk through life waiting for or expecting it to happen. No, my joy... my peace... my overwhelming happiness comes from the Lord. Keep your relationship with God foremost in your life.
In the previously mentioned covenant marriage class, the other memorable thing that came out of it is the pyramid affect... the analogy of your marriage being a three sided pyramid. Think of a pyramid... God is at the top and you and your spouse are at opposite anchor points. The closer each of you get to God, the closer you draw to each other.
Again, you can only do your part. You can't force your husband to read his Bible or pray. You can't even force him to go to church (ok, you may try but he's going to resent you and push away from God). Lead by example... Keep your relationship with your God fresh... let the joy of the Lord shine through you and pray, pray, pray. Only God can reach through to your husband and He may or may not choose to use you to do the reaching. In fact, God will most likely use someone else.
I used to get frustrated because I could say something to my husband a thousand times but let one of his friends say the same thing and all of a sudden, it's the greatest idea or thought he's ever heard. Don't get upset... just be thankful the thought made it through and move on.
Don't neglect your time with God because you need that Word in your life every day. Not only that, you may have little eyes watching you... they watch how you respond and they see how important your God is to you. Make sure to involve those little ones... take them to church with you, take them to VBS, say bedtime prayers with them and read them Bible stories. When you go on field trips, remind them that God made the beautiful sunset, the delicate butterfly, and the magestic elephant. Be sure that they are being nurtured in God's love as well as your own.
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