When Upon Life's Billows You are Tempest Tossed

Dealing with bitterness:  Speaking of little eyes, one thing they can catch the easiest is bitterness.  I went to a women's conference once and all weekend the speaker had us carry a marble around.  At each main session we were to hold it up so she knew we still had it with us.  At the end of the weekend, she said that the marble represented whatever was in our life that was coming between us and God.  In my case, at the time, it was bitterness.  A bitterness so deep it was crushing my soul.  I had fallen into a deep depression and thought the only way out was to kill myself because I must be a horrible person.

Let me say right now, that thought is WRONG... it comes from Satan!  You are not a horrible person.  You are loved and very precious in the eyes of God.  He wants to give you joy and peace, you just need to let Him in.

So, back to the conference... the speaker said that we could continue to carry that marble... we could put it in our purse and forget about it but one day, our purse will tip over and that marble will come rolling out.  She said, "think about how you'll feel when you're at the store and that marble comes rolling out on the conveyer belt... right in front of the cashier and other bystanders.  Worse yet, think about how you would feel if that marble rolled out of your purse and your child picked it up."  

And it hit me... like a light going on in the darkest part of my heart... my kids can pick up my bitterness and become bitter themselves.  Did I want that?  Did I want to be the cause for my children becoming unloving individuals?  Little people who hated their father or carried grudges toward other people?  That was an emphatic NO! I gave that marble over to the Lord and I started praying every day (sometimes every minute) that God would root out the bitterness in my soul.

I' m so glad to say that the bitterness is gone. Sure, Satan tries to bring it back from time to time but remember... "Love does not keep account of wrong".  So, when those times come, I say, "get thee behind me Satan" and I pray for forgiveness for allowing that root of bitterness to sprout once again