Surrendered to Jesus

Our church and LifeGroup have been studying the book, "Not a Fan".   We are learning about surrender.  Luke 9:23 says, "If anyone wishes to come after me, he must deny himself, take up his cross daily, and follow me".  Basically, we need to be so devoted to following Christ that we think of nothing as more important than being with Him and doing His will... Even to the point that we are ready to die because of our association with Him.

So, this morning, while reading, I started thinking of Surrender and what better song to think of than, "I Surrender All". right?  Well, maybe not... I pulled out my hymnal and this is what I read: 

All to Jesus I surrender all to Him I freely give;

I will ever love and trust Him, in His presence daily live.

Ok, that's a good start but then the other 2 verses go on:

All to Jesus I surrender, make me Savior wholly Thine; 

Let me feel your Holy Spirit, truly know that thou art mine.

All to Jesus I surrender, Lord, I give myself to Thee;

Fill me with Thy love and power, Let Thy blessing fall on me.

Wait a minute, we went straight from surrender to feelings.  The part of the book I was just reading was talking about a "Snuggie Theology"... How much more "comfortable" can we get?

But, when I went to open my hymnal, it fell open to a bookmarked page (which just happened to be the next song after, "I Surrender All") and that hymn is, "Living for Jesus".  Here's what it says:

Living for Jesus a life that is true, Striving to please Him in all that I do, 

Yielding allegiance glad hearted and free, this is the pathway of blessing for me.

Living for Jesus who died in my place, bearing on Calv'ry my sin and disgrace, 

Such love constrains me to answer His call, follow His leading and give Him my all.

Living for Jesus thru earth's little while, my dearest treasure, the light of His smile, 

Seeking the lost ones He died to redeem, bringing  the weary to find rest in Him.

Do you see the difference?  Yes, we are called to surrender but we aren't called to just lie on the alter and bask in His glory (which is good at times but not ALL the time).  No, after we surrender, we must strive, seek, and follow.  Striving isn't just trying, striving is putting your whole back into the effort and living isn't just sitting in a pew, it's daily doing everything that the Spirit calls you to do.   

Also, the verse in Luke doesn't just say surrender and follow but DAILY... Every Day we need to lay down our lives, our desires, our goals and personal dreams and take up our cross and follow Him.

So, today, hear God's Word.  Deny yourself, take up your cross and follow Him.

Contentment

This post was actually written a few weeks ago and I just realized I had never posted it...

Waking this morning, I was still consumed with the work issues that have been eating away at me for the past two years.  Why would my employer hire someone to manage the database that I've been designing and manipulating and then, why would they blindly follow him to throw money away on a new system that doesn't do half of what was basic on the current system?

The Lord quickly reminded me that the things on my mind are things of this world.  In the end, none of it will matter.  And, as a matter of fact, it's not the most important thing in my life.

Our small group Bible study is currently going through the video/book study, "Not a Fan", and I realized that, as a follower of Jesus, the only things I need to be concerned about when it comes to work are;  1) Being a good witness, 2)  doing my best as if I'm working for The Lord, and 3)  have an attitude of thankfulness and contentment.

Ok, so these were already my thoughts going from sleep to morning devotions and what was the devotion this morning?  Matthew 20:1-16, the story of the land owner who continued to hire workers throughout the day and, at the end of the day, paid them all the same.  The moral of the story... Lesson learned... There's nothing to complain about... The resources belong to the landowner and he can do with them as he pleases.

Don't worry, yes, I get the more significant spiritual meaning of the story and, honestly, that has never been an issue for me.  I do think it's sad when an older person accepts Christ shortly before death, not because I begrudge them entering God's glory or receiving the same level of mercy and grace that I have received but because they've missed all of the blessings that could have been theirs had they received Christ sooner.  

But, this morning, the message my heart needed was this... This world is not my home so quit worrying about the temporal and keep my eyes on Jesus.  

Today's devotion (from "Our Daily Bread) ended with this prayer and quote - let it be my prayer today and constant reminder:

Lord, I admit that my focus at times gets drawn
to others and what they have. Forgive me and
help me to stop grumbling. You are good to me
and provide what I need. Thank You. Amen.

All you need to know to be content is this: God is good.

Out of the Ivory Palaces

Have you ever stopped to think of the sacrifices Jesus made for us?  If you haven't thought about it lately, read Revelation 21:9-22:5 where it describes the new Jerusalem or Revelation 4 which describes the "Throne Room of Heaven".   

When we talk about the sacrifice of Jesus, we typically think of the cross and, yes, that is the ultimate sacrifice but Jesus' sacrifice actually began 33 years prior to the cross and lasted those 33 years.  Think about it... Jesus sits in a beautiful throne room surrounded by those who worship Him, yet He chose to leave all that glory to live like you and me... To face the hardships, heartache, and disease that we face and then, yes, He faced death head on for you and me. 

How very precious that makes me feel... That God would give His only Son AND that Jesus would willingly come to earth and die for my sins... Sins that I commit on a daily basis without one thought of the sacrifices made.  Oh how He loves you and me!

Out of the ivory palaces,
Into a world of woe,
Only His great eternal love
Made my Savior go.

You're not Alone

This past week, with the focus on Labor Day, there were a lot of studies and devotions on how Christians should feel about work.  In fact, timing was perfect in our study of "The Truth Project" (from Focus on the Family), as we watched video lesson #11 on "Labor" the Wednesday before Labor Day weekend.

Through all these studies, it's been brought home to me that 1) work is a privilege and 2) no matter who my employer, I work for God and His glory.  Even with these reminders, it's hard to sit at my desk at times... There are so many other things I'd like to be doing.  There are so many distractions.

Another study that we've been getting into lately is "Not a Fan". My husband heard about this book from a co-worker and, after reading just a portion, ordered the study material.  He was thinking of how/when to introduce it to our small group when we found out that our church is going to be going through it together this fall.

"Not a Fan" poses the question, "Are you a follower of Jesus?" And, a prevalent question from "The Truth Project" is, "Do you really believe that what you really believe is really real?".

There are times in every Christian walk when we ask ourselves these questions.  Doubt creeps in and we find ourselves questioning our faith, our motives, our purpose in life.

So with all these thoughts running through my head, I started thinking, "Wow, we really need to be prayer warriors for our pastors.". I mean, think about it... What would happen if our pastor fell into a slump... If he woke one Sunday morning thinking, "I don't really feel like going to work today.". Or worse, if he started doubting that he was being used of God.  Or even worse yet, started doubting his faith all together?

We need to stand in the gap for our pastors... Holding up their arms, if you will.  (see Exodus 17:9-15 for reference).

Tonight's song?  "You're not Alone" by Meredith Andrews.  It talks about how God is always with us and He is, but sometimes we just need that extra prayer of a like-minded believer.

Here is the chorus:

Faithful and true, Forever,

Oh my love will carry you.

You're not alone, For I am here,

Let me wipe away your every fear.

Oh yeah, My love I've never left your side.

I have seen you through the darkest night, 

Your darkest night,

And I'm the one who's loved you all your life.

My Heart will Sing, No Other Name... Jesus!

As I wake this morning, to face a busy day, the song running through my mind is, "My heart will sing, no other name, Jesus.  Jesus."  So, I looked up the rest of the lyrics and was reminded of the qualities of Jesus and the God we serve.  He is good.  He is love.  He is light and hope.  He is truth, life, peace, and joy.

The song even goes on to say that He is "more than my words could ever say."  Have you recently stopped and tried to describe Jesus?  It reminds me of that sermon (that you can find on YouTube) titled "That's My King" where the pastor says he doesn't know how to describe Him and then goes on for the next five minutes with truths about and titles for Jesus pausing every once in a while to say "and that's MY King!"  But, in the five minutes, that's pretty much the only thing that he repeats as he goes on to list the qualities and titles for our saviour.

So, the chorus to this morning's song says:

"Oh, I'm running to your arms, I'm running to your arms.

The riches of your love will always be enough.

Nothing compares to your embrace.

Light of the world forever reign.

My heart will sing, no other name...

Jesus, Jesus"

My dad has an old birthday card that says that love is when we run into his arms even when his hands are empty.  Although that's so true (of both my earthly dad and my heavenly father), Jesus has so much to give and isn't it refreshing to know that at the end of this busy day... at the end of serving Him... we can run into His arms and feel the warmth of His embrace?

The next time you bow your head in prayer, imagine yourself sitting on Jesus lap as a child, with his arms around you listening to every word you have to say and enjoy the time spent with Him.

He'll go With Me All the Way

Earlier this year, my husband and I read "Grace Walk" by Steve McVey.  So, in light of what we learned through the reading of that book and thinking more of the song running through my head on Saturday, something hit me this morning... following Jesus doesn't mean walking 10 paces behind my master and it doesn't mean being a messenger who merely goes where I'm sent while God stays behind watching from afar.

Did you notice the last verse of the song?:

"He will give me grace and glory,... And go with me, with me all the way."

Here are a few scriptures that go along with what I'm thinking...

Rom. 8:14-15 - For all who are being led by the Spirit of God, these are sons of God.  For you have not received a spirit of slavery leading to fear again, but you have received a spirit of adoption as sons by which we cry out, "Abba!  Father!"

1 Cor. 10:13 - "No temptation has overtaken you but such as is common to man; and God is faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able, but with the temptation will provide the way of escape also, so that you will be able to endure it.

Matt. 28:19-20 - Go therefore and make disciples of all the nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit, teaching them to observe all that I commanded you; and lo, I am with you always, even to the end of the age."

So, what do these scriptures have in common?  God is with us... He won't leave us stranded.  He has given us instructions through His Word and will send us out but He doesn't just send us, He goes with us.

Out in the highways and byways of life,

many are weary and sad.  Carry the sonshine where darkness is rife, 

making the sorrowing glad.

Make me a blessing, Make me a blessing,

Out of my life, may Jesus shine;

Make me a blessing, O Savior I pray,

Make me a blessing to someone today."

Spread some SONshine today.  Remember, if you are a child of the King, He will be with you always.

Where He Leads Me I will Follow

The other day, I was asked how God has been working in my life lately.  Wow, that's a tough one because, actually, I've been struggling.  

Don't get me wrong, I know I've been blessed... I feel that God has answered my every prayer... He has blessed me with 8 (soon to be 9) beautiful grandchildren, children that live for Christ, a husband that is sold out to Christ and who loves me so much, we don't have to worry about every penny when we go to the store and we have plenty of clothes to wear in any given situation, we have a solid roof over our heads and a warm/cool (depending on the need) house to sit comfortably in while we fellowship with friends.... but when I'm asked, "how has God been working in your life?" I know it's not about the blessings.  

And the reason I've been struggling lately is because I don't feel as close to God as I once was.  Here's the thing, I still have my daily devotions and I occasionally read extra scriptures outside the ones in the daily devotional, I pay attention and take notes on Sundays and then, again, during our life group studies but I still don't know what to say.

I've felt this coming on for a while now.  And, it's strange because I started noticing it about the same time that my husband's walk started getting stronger.  I know that I conscientiously backed off because I enjoyed the excitement in his eyes when he shared something "new" from the Bible so, did I back off too much?  I slowed down for him to catch up so that he could be the spiritual leader of our home... something I've prayed for all my life but now that he is that strong man of God, am I still the follower that I once was?

I used to know that peace that is talked about in Phil. 4:7... the peace that supplies inner joy.  Not just happiness, but peace that would cause my heart to sing even when there was chaos and calamity all around.  But was that just a fleeting emotion or was it God's peace and am I no longer feeling it because I've not been following as closely as I once was?

So, then the question led me to think of other things as well... do I not "feel" God working because I haven't been asking Him to work?  I want to follow Him but have I been asking Him to lead me?  This morning, as I pondered these questions, this song started flowing through my memory...

<center>"I can hear my Savior calling,... 'Take thy cross and follow, follow me.'

I'll go with Him thro' the garden, ... I'll go with him, with him all the way.

I'll go with him thro' the judgment, ... I'll go with him, with him all the way.

He will give me grace and glory,... and go with me, with me all the way.

Where He leads me I will follow, Where He leads me I will follow,

Where He leads me I will follow, I'll go with Him, with Him all the way."</center> 

Lord, let me know you as I used to know you.  Work in my life today.  I want to follow You but have not been listening to Your gentle words of guidance.  Open my ears once again and fill my heart with your joy as You have in the past.  

That's What Heaven Will be Like

Yesterday, we said goodbye to our loving pet.  She was with our family for almost 19 years to the day and I remember, vividly, the day she was born.  Jasmine was an example of unconditional love.  She was always happy to see us walk through the door and eager to comfort us when we were sad.  

Some of my favorite memories were the way she would sit on her hind legs with her paws on the low bay window sill, watching the birds and trying to "talk" to them... she would actually make short little mew sounds that sounded like the birds.  And, when our son went to California for a year, she would spend the first few months sniffing, rolling, and sleeping on the floor in front of the TV where she could still smell his shampoo on the carpet... until the last lingering scent was gone.

When I heard she was in so much pain, I was praying that God would ease her pain and comfort our sorrows.  Mid-prayer I thought, "she was a cat... why would God care?"  But then I realized, God didn't just want us to have dominion over the earth and the creatures, He made them for His and our enjoyment as well.  For that matter, I believe there will be animals in heaven... Revelations talks of the lion laying down with the lamb and about horsemen on horses.  So, why not fish and birds, cats, and dogs?

So I woke early this morning with fresh tears and the lyrics of this song migling with the memories of our beloved Jasmine:

"Love without measure
Space without time
Life with no crying
Will one day be mine
Hearts never breaking
Hands that don't fight
Days that don't end with
The darkness of night

The lamb and the lion
Will walk side by side
In a world where freedom, abides..."
                       - Heaven, Michael English -

Be Careful Little Mouth

As children, we're taught not to call each other names.  Again, as Christians, those identified with Christ as joint-heirs, we're taught that we are not to call each other names.  Its hard not to at times.  We all have feelings of anger and some of us are quicker to judge than others.  How many times have you "vented" to a friend or co-worker?  Or "let off steam" to your spouse about a situation at work?

Today I received a new perspective on this type of action... we would never talk bad about someone in front of their spouse, or belittle a child... especially in front of their parent but do we ever stop to think that God is the silent listener to every conversation?  He even knows our thoughts before we speak the words.  And when we talk about ANYone, we are either talking about his bride (the church) or his child (a fellow Christian), or one of His creations.  Wow... that was a sobering thought.

God, please forgive me for my judgemental thoughts, words, and uncaring actions.  Whenever a bemeaning or belittling word would come to mind about someone, remind me that they are precious in your sight and lead me to pray for them rather than belittle them.  Let me show your love to the world around me today.

"Be careful little mouth what you say,
Oh be careful little mouth what you say,
For the Father up above is looking down in love,
So, be careful little mouth, what you say."

Turn Your Eyes Upon Jesus

Our God is a Jealous God.  In our Life Group last night, we watched the 4th lesson in "The Truth Project".  If you've never heard of "The Truth Project", it's a DVD series that compares the common world view with the Biblical world view.  The professor, Dr. Del Tackett, asks a lot of profound questions and, using much scripture, explains the answers or at least opens your mind to discovering the answers the Holy Spirit would reveal to you.

Anyway, last night the question was "Who is God" and the name that was discussed the most was El-Qanna (meaning jealous).  Some have asked, if jealousy is a sin, how can God be jealous?  Good question... God isn't jealous as in coveting something he cannot have or selfishly wanting everything that his neighbor possesses, no, He is jealous over our relationship with idols or false gods.  He jealously protects our covenant relationship with Him as a husband would rightfully be jealous of anything that would destroy the bond he has with his wife.

So, bring this down to this morning... I've been reading (or should I say trying to read ) Ezekiel ... it's a tough book to read.  Having finished our study of Romans, I was trying to think what I should study and decided to try to tackle some prophetic books.  You know, some of those books that aren't quoted in Bible Study lessons much and I'm finding out why... it's a tough book to understand.  

However, this morning, a verse popped out that wasn't hard to understand at all.  Ezekiel 8:5-6a says, 

"Then said he unto me, son of man, lift up thine eyes now the way toward the north.  So I lifted up mine eyes the way toward the north, and behold, northward of the gate of the altar this image of jealousy in the entry.  And he said unto me, son of man, seest thou what they do?  Even the great abominations that the house of Israel do commit here, that I should go far off from my sanctuary?"

Ezekiel was having a vision and the Spirit of God was pointing out that the "worshippers" in the temple were actually worshipping other Gods.  Their abomination was so bad that God left the temple which was supposed to be His dwelling place.

Ok... attitude check... is our worship acceptable to God?  Do we enter into His gates with Thanksgiving and Praise and an expectant heart?  Do we open His Word with anticipation waiting to hear what the Spirit would say?  Or, do we go to church and read our Bible because that is what we are "supposed to do"?  Are we just going through the motions but really thinking of what we're going to do next (either after we get out of church or after we finish reading our daily devotion)?

God is a jealous God... He's looking for an acceptable sacrifice... a living sacrifice.

"Turn your eyes upon Jesus, look full in His wonderful face.
and the things of earth will grow strangely dim, in the light of His glory and grace."

Only Trust Him

We hear the world say that there are many ways to heaven or that an individual goes to heaven by being a good person... Living a "good" life.  But this couldn't be further from the truth!  If we could earn our salvation, Christ would not have died to provide it.  If there was more than one way and man could do it on his own, than Christ's sacrifice would be meaningless.  No, there is only one way to heaven, please don't miss His message.  Call on Him today.

"Yes, Jesus is the truth, the way, that leads you into rest.
Believe in Him without delay and you are fully blest."

I've Got a Mansion

When you think of heaven, what comes to mind?  Angels with harps floating on clouds?  Golden gates in a mist with an angelic St. Peter standing guard?  Some have said heaven sounds boring because all we'll be doing is singing.  But, when we read God's word, we find all these images are far from the truth... Revelations talks of colors that I've not seen here on earth.  Luke 22:30 talks of us eating and drinking at the Lord's table in His kingdom,  Rev. 22 describes a river, tree, street, and fruits for every month, and in John 13 & 14 Jesus tells His disciples that He is going to prepare a place for us.

So, heaven is not just a bunch of mist and clouds with mindless beings singing for all eternity... no, it is a tangible place where we will have a forever relationship and communion with the God of the universe... we will walk on streets, eat of the fruit, see rivers and animals in living color and we will know a peace like we've never known before.  

When I stop to think about heaven, I look around me at all the beauty... I've said, so many times, how wonderful it is to lay in bed in the morning and listen to the birds singing and chirping outside my window.  So, if earth, in it's dead and dying state, is so beautiful, can you just imagine what this beauty would be like without the curse?  In all it's perfected glory?  I'm so looking forward to heaven.  But, at the same time, I'm still enjoying my fellowship with those I love and the family God has blessed me with here on earth.  I don't want a single one of them to miss this joy and fellowship.

"That where I am, there you may also be up where the truth, the truth will set you free...
In the world you will have trouble but I give you my peace that where I am there you may also be."
- Rich Mullins - 

"I've got a mansion just over the hilltop
In that bright land where we'll never grow old
And some day yonder we will never more wander
But walk on streets that are purest gold."
- Ira Stamphill -

I'm hoping you'll be there to hold my hand and roam those hilltops and streets of gold with me.

Bless the Lord

Psalm 145:2 says, "Every day will I bless thee; and I will praise thy name for ever and ever."  Have you ever thought about the word "bless"?  How could I ever bless God... isn't it God who is in the blessing business?

Until this morning, as I was reading this verse and I stopped to wonder about that word, I had always thought to bless someone was to grant them special favor.  You know... along the same lines as mercy and grace.  But according to the dictionary, one of the definitions of bless is to give thanks.  We need to give thanks, show our gratitude, and constantly show God how much we appreciate all He has done for us.  So, bless God today and sing praises to His name.

Bless the Lord, Oh my soul 
And all that is within me 
Bless His holy name 

-Andrae Crouch-

My Anchor Holds

This weekend has had a theme running through it... I keep hearing "anchor"...  It all started on Saturday morning when the "Our Daily Bread" devotional talked about a picture of a tiny boat caught in a storm in the midst of the ocean.  The devotional ended with this saying, "When we face desperate circumstances, we tend to look to other people for guidance and comfort. They are in the same boat, however—lost in an ocean of life’s ups and downs. Only God is outside the boat, sovereign, stable, and strong enough to calm the storms." 

Then there was a little verse about an anchor... not only reminding me that God is strong enough to calm the storms but He is my anchor in the midst of the storm and will keep me secure until the storm is over.  

So, if you know me at all, you know this brought several songs to mind, one of which was Ray Boltz' "The Anchor Holds".  The chorus says:

"The anchor holds, though the ship is battered.
The anchor holds, though the sails are torn."

Then, yesterday morning, the soloist in church started singing, "There's an anchor for my soul..." It was beautiful.

Now, this may seem a change in subject but, trust me, God brings it all around...

This weekend was so wonderful, I don't want it to end.  Yesterday was Mother's Day... traditionally, for me, a migraine day.  See, I've struggled with migraines for the past 27 years... some years are better than others and, for this reason I haven't had a major migraine (lasting more than 8 hours) for a few years now.  But my migraines are stress related so whenever there is a day that revolves around me, it becomes a point of stress and usually ends with a migraine.  I'm so happy to say that this was not the case this weekend.  

The weekend started with my wonderful husband taking me to Six Flags.  He bought be season passes so that he and I could go to the concerts there this summer.  And, when you get season passes, there is  always a coupon book that goes along with the passes but you have to go to the park to pick it up and make everything official.  So, here's the wonderful part... he took me to the park before it opened and stayed as long as I wanted to stay.  You ask, why is that so amazing???  My husband does not ride any amusement park rides... not one!  He spent the day watching me enjoy the rides and letting me have fun while he sat off to the side.  And he didn't say no... if I wanted to ride something that meant standing in line for an hour, he would either stand in line with me for a while or sit under a tree and wait... no objections, no complaints.

The kids (now all grown adults) put together a beautiful picture for me... a collection of handprints... theirs, their spouses, and all 8 grandchildren.  And our son composed the handprints, along with a wonderful/original poem, into a beautiful picture.  And, the even better part?  Since he did it himself, he will be able to add handprints throughout the years (because we know there will still be more grandchildren).  :)

Then, as if that didn't bring enough "mommy tears", our youngest daughter dedicated her blog to me and wrote the most wonderful words and then the words were seconded by our oldest daughter.  I feel so honored and this is what brings me back to the anchor for my soul.  For you see, these wonderful people in my life "get it"... they understand what is important... God and relationships... moments captured in time.  I'm so happy that we all share the same anchor and that our time together will never truly have an ending.

Does your anchor hold?  If you're not sure, ask Jesus to show you the way.

How Deep the Father's Love for Me

How deep the Father's love for us... how rich/vast beyond all measure...

I feel so blessed.  Every morning, when I wake up (to my husband's kiss), I hear the birds outside chirping and singing.  This morning, the nature sounds even included the voices of squirrels or other little creatures.  I felt like I was in a fairy tale with all the woodland creatures coming to my window sill.  Can they make a dress for me and make my bed too?  Oh, that's only in dreams?  ok... I'll just enjoy the melody of nature then.

The other day, when I walked outside, we had a baby bunny on our porch (eating our welcome mat) and there was another bunny and two squirrels in the neighbor's yeard.  I guess it was breakfast time.

It made me stop and think of how loved I am... not only by my husband but by my wonderful Lord and Savior, the creator of the universe.  When I stop to think... God is SO big that He is indescribable.... the earth is but a spec compared to the sun and other stars in our universe but yet God holds them all in His hand!  And if the earth is but a spec, how minuscule I am upon that spec!  Yet, God, in all His mercy, loves me and cares about every detail of my life.  He provides for me, protects me, and blesses me.

Yes, how deep the Father's love...

"Why should I gain from His reward?  I cannot give an answer.  But this I know with all my heart, His wounds have paid my ransom."

Jesus Led Me All the Way

This morning's devotion was about Moses and the Israelites.  I never noticed this before, but scripture says that God did not choose to lead the Israelites on the path that was easy... Exodus 13:17 says,
"Now when Pharaoh had let the people go, God did not lead them by the way of the land of the Philistines, even though it was near; for God said, “The people might change their minds when they see war, and return to Egypt.”"

This brings to mind two different melodies, the first, a newer song by Steven Curtis Chapman (note, by newer, I'm talking relatively):  "Burn the Ships" - for those who have not heard it, it tells the story of Cortez and then relates it back to a new Christian... here are the words:

In the spring of 1519 a Spanish fleet set sail
Cortez told his sailors this mission must not fail
On the eastern shore of Mexico they landed with great dreams
But the hardships of the new world make them restless and weak
Quietly they whispered, "Let's sail back to the life we knew"
But the one who led them there was saying

CHORUS
Burn the ships, we're here to stay
There's no way we could go back
Now that we've come this far by faith
Burn the ships, we've passed the point of no return
Our life is here
So let the ships burn

In the spring of new beginnings a searching heart set sail
Looking for a new life and a love that would not fail
On the shores of grace and mercy we landed with great joy
But an enemy was waiting to steal, kill, and destroy
Quietly he whispers, "Go back to the life you know"
But the one who led us here is saying

(Chorus)

BRIDGE
Nobody said it would be easy
But the one who brought us here
Is never gonna leave us alone


Isn't that a good point to remember?  The One who is leading us will never leave us!

The other song that came to mind this morning is "All the Way My Savior Leads Me" and here are a portion of it's lyrics:

All the way my Savior leads me; 
What have I to ask beside?
Can I doubt His tender mercy,
Who thro's life has been my guide?
Heav'nly peace, divinest comfort, 
Here by faith in him to dwell!
For I know whate'er befall me,
Jesus doeth all things well.

 This old hymn goes on to remind us that Jesus Cheers us, gives us grace in every trial, feeds us with His Word and quinches my thirst with gushing springs of Joy.  By the fullness of His love, God provides perfect rest.  The song ends saying, "This my song thro' endless ages:  Jesus led me all the way."  That is my prayer today.... I know God is leading, but am I following or are there "ships" in my life that I must burn so that they cannot distract me from the blessings God has in store?

Living for Jesus

I've been reading some incredible things this week and God's really been speaking to my heart even as it pertains to my view of my family.  

You see, I take great joy and pride in my family. I do realize that I am not responsible for the talents of my children and grandchildren, I did nothing that allowed them to breathe even one minute longer than they should, but I still am proud of the individuals God has created and feel honored to have them in my life.  

But, do I let that joy and pride in my family stand between me and my worship and devotion to God and His service?  Yes... I can't deny it... and for that, I'm not proud. My mother's heart would rather rock a baby than listen to a sermon... I'd rather sing and play games with my family than share the love of God with my neighbor... I'd rather watch my son play softball than sit in Bible study.  This is all wrong.  My first priority needs to be God.  NOTHING should take that priority away.

In Luke, there is someone who is called to follow Christ but wants to go "tie up loose ends at home"... have we ever wanted that?  Ever said, "just let me finish this one last thing"?  Well, what was Christ's response?  "No one, having put his hand to the plow, and looking back, is fit for the kingdom of God."  Wow! No time to tie up loose ends, finish one more task, just "follow me"... and that is still what Christ requires... a heart full of devotion to Him.

We need to be focused and our focus needs to be on God and nothing else.

"Living for Jesus a life that is true,
Striving to please him in all that I do,
Yielding allegiance, glad-hearted and free,
This is the pathway of blessing for me."

-----

"Lord, I want to be sold out for You. I want to
love You with my whole heart, soul, mind, and
strength. Give me the power to be who You want me
to be, and to walk in Your ways." - anonymous

No one, having put his hand to the plow, and looking back, is fit for the kingdom of God. —Luke 9:62

The Noise in my Head

Has the noise in your head ever been so loud you can't think?... can't sleep?... feel like you're going mad?  Well, that has been my problem lately.  I've been living with ringing in my ears for at least 8 years now.  I can't remember the exact date that it started but I do remember the event.  I went to a concert with my daughter and as part of the pre-show entertainment, they had motorcycles ina cage going round and round.... we just happened to be in the last row of chairs right beside the cage.  I remember because I had forgotten to take my ear plugs and the noises were so loud that I remember my ears were ringing even after I got home and I don't remember them silencing since.

Sure, some days it's better than others but last night it was like an orchestra of high frequency wavelengths that were tuning up for a concert mingled in with crickets.  At least that's the best way I can describe it.  It's ironic that I have this noise constantly because I used to turn off the computer on the next desk because it was making too much noise during the day (it's ok, no one was using it at the time).

So, the next time you can't get a song out of your head, be thankful that it's just a melody with words that keep repeating rather than this constant, "nails on the chalkboard" ringing sound that could be keeping you up all night.

Jesus Never Fails

Ok... I've had some unusual thoughts this morning but I think they are coming into focus...

Have you ever taken time to listen to the sounds of the sunrise? They are just as beautiful as the vision itself. The birds seem to all be "talking" at once. If you truly listen, you can hear several different types of birds... some close, some in the distance... and it's like they are all singing a beautiful song to God with melody, harmony, and echos of praise. And I've heard this beautiful chorus even when the sun is not shining. It's as if all nature knows that a new day has begun and they just have to burst into song praising God. They don't know what is in store for the day, they're just happy it's here.

Then the sounds of dogs barking tries to disrupt the chorus. But the birds don't care, they know the dogs can't harm them or steal their joy so they just keep singing... some of them, even louder than before.

So, in my mind, I likened the dogs to satan... he tries to disrupt our praise, he tries to steal our joy but, we need to be like the birds and just ignore him. Don't even give him credit because that's what he wants. We need to just keep praising God for whatever the day has in store for us because the day comes as a gift from the Lord.

That brings me to the melody that fills my heart today...

Jesus never fails!
Jesus never fails!
You might as well get thee behind me satan
you cannot prevail because
Jesus never fails!

In Christ Alone

During this morning's devotions, this song came to mind - "In Christ Alone" written by Shawn Craig / Don Koch

In Christ alone will I glory
Though I could pride myself in battles won
For I've been blessed beyond measure
And by His strength alone, I overcome
Oh, I could stop and count successes
Like diamonds in my hands
But those trophies could not equal
To the grace by which I stand

In Christ alone will I glory
For only by His grace I am redeemed
And only His tender mercy
Could reach beyond my weakness to my need
Now I seek no greater honor than just to know Him more
And to count my gains but losses
To the glory of my Lord

Chorus

I place my trust
And find my glory in the power of the cross
In every victory let it be said of me
My source of strength, my source of hope
Is Christ alone

At times, I can't help but feel pride in our children and their families. We have 3 wonderful children who are all devoted to Christ. And 3 wonderful "in-love" children who are just as devoted. But why should I take glory or pride in them? They have always belonged to God and it's only by His mercy and the calling of His Holy Spirit that they are the wonderful, talented, people they are... it's nothing special that I or my husband have done.

And God has blessed us with Eight beautiful grandchildren so far (who are all growing way too quickly by the way).

But this journey of life is not always easy. Sure we have not had to deal with some of the pain and loss, the tragedies and illnesses that friends have dealt with but we know that "there but for the grace of God, go I". In other words, we are just as vulnerable and tragedy could strike at any moment.

But do we live in fear? No, because we have God on our side... He alone is my strength and my stronghold. No matter what life brings, God is there. He will never leave me or forget about me. In fact, he carries me, sings over me, and glories in my praise. So, I can count on Him to carry me through any "storms" in life that might come and I definitely give Him credit for any "victory" and every blessing in my life.

To God be the Glory... to GOD be the Glory... to GOD BE THE GLORY... for the things HE has done! In Christ alone I find my strength and hope.

Because He Lives

God sent his son
They called him Jesus
He came to love
Heal and forgive
He lived and died
To buy my pardon
An empty grave
Is there to prove
My Savior lives

Because he lives
I can face tomorrow
Because he lives
All fear is gone
Because I know
He holds the future
And life and is worth the living
Just because he lives

The empty grave is reason to celebrate and rejoice. The resurrection was God's receipt for the payment Jesus paid on the cross for my sins... my account was stamped, "Paid in full".  And, because He is risen, my death will not be final.  

If we could view the resurrection as if we were seeing it for the first time, we would party like we'd never partied before.

Because He lives, I can face tomorrow! Are you living with the same assurance and joy in your heart today?

This is my Father's World

Last night, I was continuing my reading of "7" by Jen Hatmaker, and she mentioned a quote from Wendell Berry about how "God made the world because he wanted it made. He deemed it good and He loves it". Then, a little bit later, she compared the consumptionism (or lack of caring about the ecological effects of our everyday life) to not caring for a child's artwork. After all, they created it, they deemed it good, and they love you enough to give it to you. These thoughts immediately brought to mind the song from childhood: This is my Father's World.

This is my Father's world
And to my listening ears
All nature sings and round me rings
The music of the spheres.

While I agree, God put us on this earth as caretakers of His creation, I still think that some (not Jen, but some) take this to the extreme. Especially since some that are involved in "saving mother earth" don't ackowledge God or His creation (or they wouldn't call it "Mother Earth"). We should be recycling, gardening, avoiding litter because we are good stewards of what God has entrusted to us... not because we think we can reverse any damage that has been done to the O-zone layer.

After all, God is in control and while we may slow things down, when God's timing is right, He plans to make a new heaven and a new earth. It's not like we should try to speed things up by destroying this one but we shouldn't be delusional enough to think we can "save" it either.

I guess I'm just rambling this morning but it does bother me when government and peer pressure dictate what we should do rather than our own conscious desire to take care of and enjoy what God has entrusted. We need to slow down and enjoy the beauty around us and then give praise and glory to the One who created it for His enjoyment.

This is my Father's world
Oh, and let me never forget
That though the wrong seems oft' so strong
God is the ruler yet.

Jesus take the Wheel

You know how you sometimes get a song stuck in your head? This happens to me a lot at night so that whenever I'm conscious, even if it's just for a few moments, I have parts of the song echoing in my mind... sort of like a prayer.

Well, last night, just before we went to bed, I heard the song by Carrie Underwood - "Jesus Take the Wheel." It says, "Jesus take the wheel, I can't do this on my own." So, of course, that small portion of the song echoed through my waking moments and through my dreams. And this morning, I could clearly hear the Spirit's reply, "I'm trying but you have to let go."

It's so hard to give up the throne of our lives... the throne of our emotions... the reins that steer this little vessel through the sea of humanity but that is what God requires of us.

Rom. 12:1 says, "I beseech you therefore brethren, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable to God, which is your spiritual service."

Beseech - to ask with urgency and passion. What is a "living sacrifice"? One who is wholely devoted to abiding (or dwelling with) God. This is descriptive of someone who not only reads the word... a passage here and there, or takes their Bible to church on Sunday and then sets it aside until the next Sunday, but someone who applies the Word of God to every moment of every day. Someone who is constantly in prayer and having a true relationship with the Lord.

If you are truly abiding with the Lord, you are ever mindful that God's Holy Spirit is present wherever you go... the silent listener to every conversation. If we were truly abiding, would we be going into the establishments we're going into? Would we be watching or looking at the things we're looking at? Would we be saying or repeating the things we are saying?

Lord, please forgive me for not letting go.

Trust and Obey

My husband and I have been involved with and lead a "Truth Project" study series. It's by Focus on the Family and if you haven't heard of it, you should check it out. Anyway, it opened my eyes to John 8:32, "and ye shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free."

Most people hear that one simple verse and think... okay, I need to tell the truth and it will set me free but that's not what this verse is saying. If you read the verse in context (something you should always do anyway), starting in verse 31 and going through 36, you'll notice that Jesus is talking about Himself.

"Jesus therefore said to those Jews that had believed him, If you abide in my word, then are you truly my disciples; and ye shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free. They answered Him, We are Abraham's seed, and have never yet been in bondage to any man: why do you say, you shall be made free? Jesus answered them, truly, truly, I say to you, every one that committeth sin is the bondservant of sin and the bondservant abideth not in the house for ever: the son abideth for ever. If therefore, the Son shall make you free, you shall be free indeed."

In this passage we see, not only is Jesus "the truth" but that He says, "if you abide in my word, then are you truly my disciples"... so what does that mean, abide in his word? Abide means to "continue without fading or being lost."... it means to live or dwell. So, if we dwell in His word... sort of takes you back to "keep my commandments."

"And hereby we know that we know Him, if we keep His commandments. He that says, I know Him, and does not keep His commandments is a liar and the truth is not in him;" 1 John 2:3-4

So, are you keeping His commandments? Are you abiding in Him and in His Word? Are you free from sin and death?

When we walk with the Lord
In the light of His Word,
What a glory He sheds on our way!

While we do His good will
He abides with us still,
and with all who will trust and obey.

Trust and obey
For there's no other way
to be happy in Jesus
But to trust and obey.

I know He Cares for Me

I sing because I'm happy. I sing because I'm free. For His eye is on the sparrow and I know He cares for me.

We went to see OctoberBaby last night and it was a wonderful testimony to God's forgiving grace. The things the world calls "coincidence" we know are God's miraculous ways. Isn't it wonderful to be in His care?

Nothing happens that God doesn't know about... things done in secret. I never have understood the mindset of one who would think about abortion. It needs to be labeled what it is... murder. There is never a reason, never an excuse. But, for those who have listened to the lies of this world... the lies of satan, God can heal, God will forgive, if you only seek His grace and mercy He will be faithful to pour it out for you.

Again, I can sing because I'm happy. I can sing because I'm free in Jesus.... for I know He cares for me.

This Little Light of Mine

Once, during a worship conference, the speaker described the moon... he mentioned that the moon has no source of light but yet it lights up our night sky. How can that be? Because it reflects the light from the sun back down to earth. Then he compared our Christian life to the moon saying that, in this same manner, we are to reflect the light of Jesus.

Today during my devotions, I was reminded of this as I read that we "are the light of the world. A city set on a hill cannot be hid. Neither do men light a lamp, and put it under the bushel, but on the stand; and it shineth unto all that are in the house. Even so, let your light shine before men; that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father who is in heaven." - Matthew 5:14-16

Wow... the melody in my heart just leaped... I have so many songs running through my head... of course, "This Little Light of Mine" and Toby Mac's "Diverse City", but another one of my all time favorites is "Shine" by Newsboys.

"Shine
Make 'em wonder what you've got
Make 'em wish that they were not
On the outside, looking bored.

Shine
Let it shine before all men
Let 'em see good works and then
Let 'em glorify the Lord."

When that song comes on, I crank it up. But am I living it? Am I really shining the light of Jesus everywhere I go? Are you shining today? I know I haven't been very good at it lately...

As the pastor said, at the end of that conference... "let's go moon the world for the Lord".

Arise My Love - the Grave Could not hold the King!

One of my favorite songs, especially this time of year is, "Arise, My Love" by Newsong. The last verse says:

"Sin, where are your shackles?
Death, where is your sting?
Hell; has been defeated.
The grave could not hold the king.

Arise, My love.
Arise, My love.
The grave no longer
has a hold on you!

No more death's sting
No more suffering.
Arise... Arise... my love."

As we look forward to celebrating that wonderful day we call Easter, let's not forget the suffering that preceeded the grave. The suffering for you and for me. We are the reason Christ came to this earth. We are the reason He was nailed to the cross. But, the good news is, if we truly believe and confess Jesus as our Lord and Savior, we will rise again someday, just as He arose that glorious resurrection morning.

Be Prepared for What God has in Store for You

Abigail, Nabal, and David:  Did you know that God wrote a "happily ever after" fairy tale long before Disney?  The story can be found in 2 Samuel 25:2-42 but here's my paraphrase:

David was hiding from Saul.  David had been chosen by God, to be King, but it was not yet time for him to rule.  However, just knowing David had been chosen, Saul was jealous and was seeking to harm David.  So David and his men were hiding in the wilderness and in the valley, below where they were hiding, there were shepards and herdsmen who worked for a man by the name of Nabal.  According to the scripture, Nabal means fool and, if you read the story, you'll see that he lives up to his name.

Now, while David and his men are hiding from Saul, they have also been providing protection for Nabal's men and livestock.  One day, the men are hungry so David sends to Nabal asking for provisions.  Basically Nabal tells David and his men to take a flying leap which, of course, doesn't go over too well with David.

When David hears about Nabal's reply, he is so angry he vows to kill every male on the property (and we're not just talking men... We're talking livestock as well).  When Abigail, Nabal's wife hears about what happened and that David and his men are on their way, she goes into her pantry and prepares a feast.  She takes all that she prepared and meets David's entourage, falling on her face, and apologizes for her husband's behavior.  David accepts Abigail's gifts and calls off the attack.

Abigail returns home to find Nabal partying and he is very drunk so she doesn't say anything until morning.  In the morning, when Abigail tells Nabal what she had done, he has a stroke and the scripture says, "Ten days later, God struck Nabal and he died."

When David hears that Nabal has died, he sends messengers to Abigail saying that he wants her to be his wife.

There are several things to be learned from this story but one of the things that was pointed out in a Bible study that I attended was, Abigail was prepared.  I mean, really... how many of us would be able to reach into our pantry and prepare enough food for an entourage of soldiers?  And, she was wise... she thought of a plan and executed the plan.  

I guess what I'm saying is women of the Bible are strong. Some seem to think that women were insignificant in the Bible but they were worker bees.  The woman of Proverbs 31 bought and sold property and kept her lamp burning at night while she wove her own cloth and sewed rich clothing for her family.

So, be encouraged today.  You are a princess... a child of the King.  You are beautiful, strong, and intelligent.  Use the resources God has given you to be the best wife you can be even if you don't feel your husband deserves it because that is what God requires of us.  And pray, pray, pray... pray without ceasing and never quit preparing your heart for the adventures God has in store.  Make your life a life of praise and worship and remember, "my joy comes from the Lord."

"Grace is deceitful, and beauty is vain; but a woman that feareth the Lord, she shall be praised." Prov. 31:30.

Letting Go and Letting God

Letting go and letting God:  When I started this project (putting my "marriage lessons" in order), I started by outlining my thoughts.  Tonight, I looked at this last thought (at least for now) and it's so poignant, because right this very minute, I'm so angry at my husband for throwing away a broken "treasure" that has taken up space in our basement for the past 12 years. That's right... 12 years.

So, since I know when to choose my battles and both of us have already made our point, I didn't want to say any more on the subject so I decided to read.  Lately, I've been reading "7 An Experimental Mutiny Against Excess" by Jen Hatmaker.  It's a book that my husband already went through and wanted me to read (a very good book by the way).   

Anyway, I'm currently in the middle of month 3 (sorry, you'll have to read the book to find out what that means) and Jen drew a mental picture of the church people sitting around their living room, talking about the love of Jesus, while the world is burning down outside and the destitute are asking for the basic necessities of life with their noses pressed up against the window watching us drink our coffee.

Reading that made me realize I have nothing to be angry about (ok... I still don't think it needed the trashcan, but that's beside the point).  The point is, I have a roof over my head, food in my belly, a warm bed to sleep in, enough clothes I could wear something fresh every day for two weeks without doing laundry, and enough money in the bank that I wouldn't have to worry if the car broke down and here I am fuming over a trivial item that is only valuable for sentimental reasons.

So, you can see why this outlined topic is so poignant... I had meant to talk about letting go of things we cannot change and God was planning to show me another lesson on just plain "letting go".

Alright... So, I can't stay mad at him with God on his side... Besides, that would just negate the stuff I've already talked about when I talked about bitterness and not holding a grudge.  See, I'm not perfect... I don't know it all, and God is still teaching me new lessons.

Ok... Here is the lesson I had intended to share... When we pray for our husband (or anything for that matter), we need to let go of the situation and our feelings about the matter and let God do His thing.  We need to remember that He works all things together for our good.  Remember that He has a plan for our lives and it's not a plan to harm us.  We just need to trust Him and His timing and never give up praying.  

Child of the King

Being a princess:  You are a child of the King of kings!  Would a princess wallow in the mire?  Would a princess run around in rags all day without make-up?  No... most of the time, when you see or think of a princess, she's always picture perfect.

In both Matthew and Mark, Jesus is recorded as saying, "love thy neighbor as thyself."  Have you ever noticed, or paid attention to the "as thyself" portion of that scripture?  The reason for this is that it's very hard to love anyone if we don't love ourselves.

Recently my husband has been obsessed with the fact that insomnia often takes me from my "beauty sleep" at night.  He keeps reminding me that my body needs 7-8 hours of sleep (even though it apparently doesn't think so).  But I know he's not doing this because of any outward appearances, he's doing this because he cares about me and wants me to be healthy.  If we love ourselves, we will do what we can to be as healthy as we can.

I heard a secret about fortune-telling once (now don't worry... I don't believe in fortune tellers)... the secret is, they look at the hands because if a person takes good care of their hands, they must "love themselves".  And this isn't talking about an unnatural love, it's just talking about, again, being healthy, feeling good, and looking your best.

Here are a few benefits of taking care of yourself:
1. You'll feel better physically and emotionally.
2. You'll be around to enjoy your husband and family longer.
3. You'll have more energy to be able to keep up with your family.
4. You'll be someone that others want to be around 

Now let me clarify that last one... I'm NOT saying that if you are sick or have a disability that people will not want to be around you.... No, I'm saying that if you are doing everything you can to take care of yourself, and be in the best health you can be, people will want to be around you.  After all, if you give up on yourself, others will too.

And, we should take care of our spiritual health and beauty as well.  As a child of the King, we represent Him wherever we go.  Are you representing your Father and yourself in a good light?

Are You Under the Umbrella?

The umbrella affect:  The Bible tells us that "the husband is the head of the wife, as Christ is the head of the church" - Ephesians 5:23.  

I've heard it described as an umbrella... The husband is the umbrella and the wife and children are underneath that umbrella.  So, it is the umbrella's job to protect.  It is his responsibility to lead his home spiritually and can you imagine the great responsibility this entails?  He will someday stand before God and give an account for, not only himself, but the direction of his family... just as a captain takes responsibility for the direction of his ship.

If, at this time, your husband is not taking this responsibility, of course, you don't want your children to suffer the consequences.  So, it then becomes your responsibility, as second in command, to hold the umbrella.  While taking on this tough roll, continue to pray that some day your husband's eyes and heart will be open to the joy he is missing.

And, when your husband's spirit comes to life and he realizes that he needs to be in charge of the spiritual upbringing and spiritual protection of his family, you need to hand over the reins and get back underneath his umbrella.  That may be a hard thing to do but, if you've been steering the ship for a while, he will still need your loving hand to guide him.  So, don't feel like you have been pushed aside, rather, with a sigh of relief, hand over that responsibility.

We see this type of guidance and trust... spiritual responsibility if you will, in Genesis 12.  In vs 13, Abraham and Sarah (actually Abram and Sarai in these early passages) are traveling to Egypt and Abraham tells Sarah, "tell them you are my sister".  So, basically, she has been told, by her husband, to lie to the Pharoah and princes of Egypt.  Sarah does as her husband has told her and God protects her because she has been obedient.  Now, I'm not, in any way, shape, or form, saying that we are not accountable for our own actions, but what Sarah did was to fall under the authority of her husband.  Or, in plain english, she was submissive to her husband.

If you haven't heard it from me before, I'll say it again... submission is NOT a bad word.  Submission is willfully giving in to the authority of another.  So, it doesn't say, in this passage from Genesis, what Sarah was thinking... she very well may have struggled with the fact that her husband was asking her to lie but she did what she was asked to do out of obedience or submission to her husband.  And, as I said, God protected her because of it.  

We need to have this same type of trust in our husband as the leader of our home.  It is our responsibility to allow him to lead by submitting to his authority and prayerfully following his lead.  Please don't miss that word, "prayerfully" because you, of course, don't want to take this to the extreme and think that you are untouchable because you are "just doing what you are told."... no, we are to have discernment and we are still asked to give advise, but the ultimate decisions should be left to our husbands.

Praise - it goes a long way

Praise is like salt:  Salt is a preservative, it adds flavor, assists in healing, and also helps in the leavening process while baking.  Praise is like salt for our relationships... both vertical (with our God) and horizontal (with other human beings).  

There is a song that I love that says, "Praise the Lord, He can work through those who praise Him.  Praise the Lord, for our God inhabits praise.  Praise the Lord!  For the chains that seem to bind you, serve only to remind you, that they drop powerless behind you when you praise Him."

This is so true.  Praising God preserves our soul and lifts our spirit.  Praising those around us lifts them up as well.  And, face it, when we feel good about ourselves, we treat everyone around us a little better and we have more reason to strive to do more praise worthy deeds.

There have been many conferences, sermons, and relationship advice books where I've heard or read that men need a little more praise for some reason.  It's like food for their ego.  And it's true, some times, when our husbands do everyday tasks, they still seem to want to hear that they did a good job.  So, don't forget about praise when it comes to your marriage... lift up the spirit of your husband by recognizing the extra things he's been doing around the house.  

Tell him how much you appreciate the things he does for you as well as the qualities God has gifted to him.  I challenge you to find at least one positive thing to praise him each day for the next week and see if it doesn't make for a better mood around the house as well as renew or change your attitude toward your husband.

When Upon Life's Billows You are Tempest Tossed

Dealing with bitterness:  Speaking of little eyes, one thing they can catch the easiest is bitterness.  I went to a women's conference once and all weekend the speaker had us carry a marble around.  At each main session we were to hold it up so she knew we still had it with us.  At the end of the weekend, she said that the marble represented whatever was in our life that was coming between us and God.  In my case, at the time, it was bitterness.  A bitterness so deep it was crushing my soul.  I had fallen into a deep depression and thought the only way out was to kill myself because I must be a horrible person.

Let me say right now, that thought is WRONG... it comes from Satan!  You are not a horrible person.  You are loved and very precious in the eyes of God.  He wants to give you joy and peace, you just need to let Him in.

So, back to the conference... the speaker said that we could continue to carry that marble... we could put it in our purse and forget about it but one day, our purse will tip over and that marble will come rolling out.  She said, "think about how you'll feel when you're at the store and that marble comes rolling out on the conveyer belt... right in front of the cashier and other bystanders.  Worse yet, think about how you would feel if that marble rolled out of your purse and your child picked it up."  

And it hit me... like a light going on in the darkest part of my heart... my kids can pick up my bitterness and become bitter themselves.  Did I want that?  Did I want to be the cause for my children becoming unloving individuals?  Little people who hated their father or carried grudges toward other people?  That was an emphatic NO! I gave that marble over to the Lord and I started praying every day (sometimes every minute) that God would root out the bitterness in my soul.

I' m so glad to say that the bitterness is gone. Sure, Satan tries to bring it back from time to time but remember... "Love does not keep account of wrong".  So, when those times come, I say, "get thee behind me Satan" and I pray for forgiveness for allowing that root of bitterness to sprout once again

Covenant Relationship

Marriage is a covenant:  When you got married, you vowed, before friends, loved ones, and God, that you would love and cherish this person until one of you should die.  And, no, you should not be praying for that someone to die... that's just wrong.  Take time to renew that commitment to yourself from time to time.  My husband and I took a "marriage covenant" class at one point in time and one of the things I remember from this Biblically based study is that your spouse is a gift from God.  

Think about it... how many lonely people are out there in the world?  God gave you this person to cherish... when you receive a precious gift from your children, do you tear it apart or throw it on the ground and trample it?  No, you cherish that gift... you display it for all to see.  Treat your husband the same way.  Think of the good qualities, those things that he does (or perhaps he used to do) that just make you smile and tell your friends aboout those things.  Shine a light on the beautiful aspects of your man and shove the not so lovely under the rug.

My joy comes from the Lord:  It is NOT my husband's responsibility to make me happy.  It is great when that happens but I shouldn't walk through life waiting for or expecting it to happen.  No, my joy... my peace... my overwhelming happiness comes from the Lord.  Keep your relationship with God foremost in your life.  

In the previously mentioned covenant marriage class, the other memorable thing that came out of it is the pyramid affect... the analogy of your marriage being a three sided pyramid.  Think of a pyramid... God is at the top and you and your spouse are at opposite anchor points.  The  closer each of you get to God, the closer you draw to each other.

Again, you can only do your part.  You can't force your husband to read his Bible or pray.  You can't even force him to go to church (ok, you may try but he's going to resent you and push away from God).  Lead by example... Keep your relationship with your God fresh... let the joy of the Lord shine through you and pray, pray, pray.  Only God can reach through to your husband and He may or may not choose to use you to do the reaching.  In fact, God will most likely use someone else.

I used to get frustrated because I could say something to my husband a thousand times but let one of his friends say the same thing and all of a sudden, it's the greatest idea or thought he's ever heard.  Don't get upset... just be thankful the thought made it through and move on.  

Don't neglect your time with God because you need that Word in your life every day.  Not only that, you may have little eyes watching you... they watch how you respond and they see how important your God is to you.  Make sure to involve those little ones... take them to church with you, take them to VBS, say bedtime prayers with them and read them Bible stories.  When you go on field trips, remind them that God made the beautiful sunset, the delicate butterfly, and the magestic elephant.  Be sure that they are being nurtured in God's love as well as your own.