Relationships take work.

Relationships take work: That being said, we need to go out of our way to demonstrate that love. After all, at one point you probably did have that gushy feeling and the emotional side can come again, if you let it... or, should I say, if you nurture it. Just like you've heard it said time and again, when it comes to witnessing, the other person's response is not your responsibility... this applies to your relationship as well...your only responsibility is to do your part.

So, be creative, think of what your man likes and do something to show him you care. If he likes baseball, maybe make time to go to a game... if you can't afford a professional one, maybe make a picnic lunch and go watch a game at the park on Saturday. Be sure to get a sitter if you have kids... time alone is vital to your relationship.

Keep yourself interesting to him by learning about things that he enjoys... as mentioned, if he likes baseball, read the sports page, learn about the players on the team he likes, learn the rules of the game. If he likes automobiles, learn about the different styles, makes and models.

Keep up on the local news. This is all very important... especially if you happen to be fortunate enough to be a stay-at-home mom, because your husband is out in the world every day. He is surrounded by interesting people and interesting conversation and what does he come home to?... talk about the busyness of the day and the dirty diapers? So, be sure that you know what is going on in the world around you and in his world so that you can have something to talk about when you are together.

As mentioned, time together is important... Make "date night" a priority. If you can't afford to go out, perhaps the kids can spend a night with friends. Or, perhaps you could trade nights with a friend. When the "kids" are old enough to be on their own, your "date" could be grocery shopping capped off with a soda at the local McDonald's. Whatever you do, be sure that it is the two of you and that your time together is a regularly scheduled event

Unconditional Love

True Love is Unconditional:   We are called to live like Christ... to be conformed to His image.  Would we feel loved if He loved us the way we love others?  In most cases, I dare say, probably not.  Paul's word for love is Agape which describes a love that is based on the deliberate choice of the one who loves rather than the worthiness of the one who is loved... Agape love is giving, selfless, long-suffering (patient), and expects nothing in return.

This is the kind of love we should have... not only for other Christians in the church or for our neighbors but for those closest to us... our spouse and children.

I've always loved the "love chapter".  In fact, I have it in a frame in my home nestled amongst pictures of my family but I am far from the image that is pictured in Paul's writing.  Let me explain it the way a dear friend explained it to me once:

Love suffers long and is kind... kind no matter what - you know what Jesus said, "love your enemies"... so, Agape love is for everyone and if your love is not returned, you keep loving anyway.

Love does not envy, parade itself, and is not puffed up... envy can also be described as "jealous".  If I truly love my neighbor, I wouldn't be jealous of the new baby that God has blessed her with when I've been praying for years or I wouldn't be jealous of the honor bestowed on a co-worker when I feel I've worked twice as hard.  No, true love means you're happy for the achievements of others and you don't take pride in your own.

Love does not behave rudely and does not seek its own... when we are out with our husband and friends, do we put him down?  Do we tease to the point of making him look bad in their eyes?  When we are having a conversation, do we listen to the other person's thoughts or are we too busy thinking of what we are going to say or interrupting them when they are talking?  In my mind, this would read, one who truly loves, listens and doesn't force their own opinions on others.  

This almost brings into play the word some women dispise... submission.  Did you know, that submission does not mean being a dormat?  It doesn't mean that you are a slave?  If you look up the word submission in the dictionary, it means that you willingly give in to the authority of another.  In other words, you share your ideas and opinions but you willingly choose to go with the other person's way of doing something.

Sorry for the side-step there... back to the Love Chapter...

Love is not provoked, thinks no evil... ok, this is the one that my friend truly explained differently than I had ever heard before.  When we approach a situation, we should be expecting the best rather than thinking the worst.  Even if a situation comes up that has always received a negative response in the past, we should approach it expecting a positive response I guess this falls in line of not keeping a record of wrong which is the way that it is worded in some translations.  Forget what happened 10 years ago, 5 months ago, 2 hours ago, or even a few minutes before and look forward to each moment with a fresh outlook expecting a positive response.  However, remember... long-suffering.  So, if that positive response doesn't come, how do we respond?... that's right, we pile on more love.

Love does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth... we don't find happiness in revenge, we don't lie but constantly seek the truth in every situation.

Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, and endures all things.  Do you see the word blindfold in any of those sentences?  No, we love doesn't mean we are naive or ignorant of what is going on around us, it says that we recognize the problems and failures but we don't lose faith in the possibilities of what people might become.  We don't give up.  God can change this person for the better just as He has changed us.  We accept the hardships and rejection, continuing to build up and encourage... always expecting the best from and for the other person.

Agape... are you showing it today?  Even if you don't feel it in return, it is our responsibility to show this kind of love to everyone, including our spouse.

Love is a Choice

Recently, I was asked to pray for a friend who was struggling with her marriage... So, I wanted to take this opportunity to document some of the things I've learned through my 33 1/2 years of marriage and my 44 years of walking with the Lord and seeking His guidance.

Before I begin, let me say, my husband and I are at a good place in our marriage.  My husband is my best friend, my strongest supporter, and my loudest cheerleader.  He pampers me, protects me, and takes care of me.  We share everything together and are enjoying our grandbabies and the other blessings God has bestowed.  He is a strong Christian and has been soaking up Bible teaching like a sponge.

The scripture passage we chose for our wedding, Eccl. 4:9-12, is still our inspiration.... 9 Two are better than one because they have a good return for their labor. 10 For if [c]either of them falls, the one will lift up his companion. But woe to the one who falls when there is not [d]another to lift him up. 11 Furthermore, if two lie down together they [e]keep warm, but how can one be warm alone?12 And if [f]one can overpower him who is alone, two can resist him. A cord of three strands is not quickly torn apart.

God is the most important ingredient in any marriage.  So, as we walk through the following lessons together remember...pray, pray, pray.  And, when you pray, do so believing God has already answered your prayers.

I've decided to break these thoughts, lessons if you will, into bite size chunks and share them one at a time over the next few days.  Here is my first offering and my prayer is that God will help you through some of the lessons He has taught me.

Love is a choice:  As we grow from little girls, we are ingrained with romance.  We read fairy tales where the prince comes in and saves the day and they live "... happily ever after".  But here's the reality... love is not an emotion.  Yes, there is some form of "puppy love" where your heart flutters and you feel all warm inside but at the end of the day, love is a choice.

There may come times in your relationship where you have to wake up every morning and say, "I am choosing to love this person today".  There may even come times when you pray, "God help me to love this person today - Give me your eyes and let me see this person the way you see him."

Hedge of Protection

Who needed an alarm clock this morning? With the winds roaring and the hail pounding, I lay in bed clinging to my husband and praying for a wall of protection around our home. We just saw on the news, last night and the day before, the destruction that hit Branson, MO, when a tornado struck in the night... duplexes that looked like a pile of kindling and a whole shopping strip leveled to the ground.

After the winds subsided, the roof was covered with hail the size of golf balls.

At times like these, God's might is so real and we realize how very small we are in all of this... imagine, our universe is so vast, but God is SO big that He holds our universe in the palm of His hand! And to think that we have the nerve to even ask God for anything. But, is it really "nerve" or is it the trust of a child?

One time, when travelling to Nebraska with one of our little grandchildren in tow, we were hit with a sudden down pour... right in the middle of the thunderstorm she screamed, "make it stop!" That's what I wanted to do this morning... I wanted to scream, "Make it stop!" Just think, God can do just that... the wind and waves obey His every command. He is always in control.

Yes, God is BIG.... He's beyond big and I am but a grain of sand when you look at humanity from that perspective but He still loves me enough to listen to my tiny voice. God is good. Thank you, Lord, for your hedge of protection in the storm.

Because God cares about us, we can leave our cares with Him.

A few weeks ago, our youngest daughter gave birth to our 8th precious grand baby, our 3rd grandson. With God's hand pouring out blessings so quickly upon our family (3 new ones celebrating their first Valentine's Day this year), it's sometimes overwhelming but this kind of overwhelming love I can handle anytime.

However, I know there are sad times as well... for instance when, with each new momentous occasion we stop to think of how much my father-in-law would have enjoyed seeing this day and how much he has missed since his passing. Or the fact that my mother, while still living, will not fully realize who these babies are or even who their parents are and how they are related as she spends her days with Alzheimer's.

But we are reminded, when sorrows do come, to count our blessings for Great IS His faithfulness to those who love Him. As the song says, "...strength for today and bright hope for tomorrow. Blessings all mine, with TEN THOUSAND beside." So I will continue to lift my eyes toward heaven and say, "Thank you, Father, for pouring out your love and blessings in our lives."

Psalm 69:30 "I will praise the name of God with a song, and will magnify Him with thanksgiving."

Head in the Clouds

Love without measure; Space without time
Life with no crying; Will one day be mine.

Hearts never breaking; Hands that don't fight
Days that don't end with The darkness of night.

The lamb and the lion Will walk side by side
in a world where freedom abides

Friends that don't leave you; Smiles that don't fade
Nobody's hurtin' - No one's afraid.

No hungry children; Loved ones don't die
No sad farewells; There'll be no more goodbyes.

All the burdens and longings We bring to this place
Disappear in the moment We look at the love on His face.

That's what heaven will be like,
That's what heaven will be.

These are some of the lyrics from Michael English's song "Heaven". Isn't it wonderful to think that one day we will be in that wonderful place?

This weekend, we learned that a friend of ours had gone on to be in the arms of Jesus. Times like these always bring back memories of personal loss. Loved ones who have gone before us. While here on this earth, we mourn our loss, our loved ones are resting in this marvelous place where there is no struggle, no sadness, no hunger, no pain. While our lives will never be the same and our loved ones will never be forgotten, we thank you, Lord, for the comfort in knowing that they are home with you.

A Child of the King

"He owns the cattle on a thousand hills"... it's been running through my mind all night and the thought brings me joy... this song isn't just talking about wealth, but comfort. Comfort in the knowledge that, as a child of the King of kings, we are cared for... provided for... and have no need of want.

It has been said that "God helps those who help themselves" well, that's not Biblical at all but it is true that He blesses those of us who love Him and are ready to receive His blessings. These blessings that are so freely talked about throughout the Bible aren't just monetary blessings... they are blessings of peace and joy. Security in knowing that we are truly loved. Just this week, I was listening to another sermon on the beatitudes and was reminded that "Blessed" means happy but not the emotional happy that we think of - rather a deeply abiding joy.

To me, this joy comes in so many forms... the beauty of God's handiwork, the wonderment of His miracles, the encouragement of a friend or loved one, or in times like tonight, a song that won't leave my mind... a song that reminds me that I am His. That I'm provided for and loved as a child of the King and that He will never leave me nor forsake me.

"He owns the cattle on a thousand hills, the wealth in every mine,
He owns the rivers and the rocks and rills, the sun and stars that shine,
Wonderful riches more than tongue can tell, He is my Father so they're mine as well.
He owns the cattle on a thousand hills, I know that He will care for me."
Words and Melody by John W. Peterson